Keeping the Holidays Holy

I realized today that Christmas Eve is under three weeks away.  We are already one-quarter of the way through Advent!  Got a Christmas party coming up soon that you have to plan?  Have you even started shopping for presents for your kids?  How are those Christmas cards coming along?

What gets you the most stressed out during the holiday season?  What things typically distract you from remembering the reason why we celebrate?  Let me offer four suggestions of things we can do to keep the holiday season holy:

1. Rest – God set aside a day to rest after He had created the heavens and the earth (Genesis 2:2-3), so we need to observe time in our lives to rest.  The Psalms call us to “be still before the Lord” (Psalm 37:7) and encourage a life of peace and quiet in His presence.  The Messiah is called the “Prince of Peace” in Isaiah 9:6, and if we are to emulate Him, especially Jesus’ practice of withdrawing to lonely places for quiet time and prayer (see Luke 5:16), we need to slow down during the busy holiday season.  In 1 Thessalonians 4:11 Paul says, “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life”.  We need to think critically about how we can “lead a quiet life” this Christmas.  What are some things that you can do to get some rest in the next couple weeks?  What things can you say “no” to in the next month that would allow you time to rest?  See Psalm 23; Psalm 131; Isaiah 30:15; 32:16-18.

2. Remember – We begin our holiday season by celebrating Thanksgiving and by reflecting on the reasons why we are grateful to God.  The holiday season is a great time for remembrance.  We remember the blessings we have received, we remember what Christmas really means, and we remember to bless others because we have been blessed.  In several places the Scriptures call us to remember the Lord’s deeds.  Christmas is a great time to do this in an active way.  See Psalm 63:6; Psalm 77:11; Psalm 105:1-8; Ephesians 2:11-13.

Here are some practical suggestions for how we can be more intentional about allowing time for remembrance this season:

--- Read a good devotional book about the true meaning of Christmas or take the time to read a classic Christmas novel like A Christmas Carol.

--- Get a hold of an Advent wreath for your kitchen table and go through some sort of Advent reading with your family at dinner time each day.

--- Listen more reflectively to your favorite Christmas carols as you are out running errands, working in your yard, or doing chores around the house.

--- When you are out purchasing gifts for others, reflect on the good gifts that God has given you.

3. Redeem – In many ways we are living in the midst of a culture that has lost its understanding of the true meaning of Christmas.  Many of us get frustrated by the over-commercialization of what is truly a holy day.  We shake our heads in disgust when stores begin selling Christmas merchandise in October, and we get tired of Christmas being about nothing more than fat, cartoonish renditions of Santa Claus, a flying reindeer with a red nose, jingling bells, and fake trees adorned with cheap decorations.  Many Christians get so disgusted with these trappings that they decide to forgo all of it (oftentimes appealing to the so-called “pagan” roots of these Christmas traditions).  But you know what?  There isn’t anything we can do about it and all the complaining in the world isn’t going to change our cultural understanding of Christmas.  What can we do?  We can redeem these traditions for Christ, and deepen the meaning that they have for both us and others.  Reflect on the following passages: Jeremiah 29:4-14; 1 Corinthians 8:4-8; Ephesians 5:15-16; Philippians 4:8; Colossians 1:15-16; 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22.

One of the ways that our family has tried to “redeem” a secularized Christmas tradition is through our interpretation of Santa Claus.  Inspired by the portrait of Father Christmas in C.S. Lewis’s The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, we decided early on that Santa Claus (or Father Christmas, as I like to call him) is a servant of Christ who brings one special gift to each of our children that will help them grow closer to Christ.  Santa’s gifts are always wrapped in plain parcel paper and are set apart from the other gifts.  They are often accompanied by a note reminding the kids of the ultimate gift that we’ve been given: Jesus Christ.  Our goal for Amelia and Grant is that when they see renditions of Santa Claus during the Christmas season that they would think of Christ.

4. Rejoice – Simply put, Christmas is a time to rejoice.  It isn’t an accident that there is so much language about “joy” during Advent.  When Jesus was born his mother Mary prayed to the Lord saying, “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my savior (Luke 1:46-47).  At Christ’s birth the angel of the Lord told the shepherds nearby that he brought “good news of great joy that will be for all the people” (Luke 2:10).  Paul commands us in Philippians 4:4 that we are to “Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!”  Certainly at Christmas it is easy to take these verses to heart, but we should be just as joyful during this season as we are during other seasons of the year.  Likewise, we are to have the same level of joy during the rest of the year as we do at Christmas.  Because Christmas always comes at the end of our calendar year, it is a natural time to pause, reflect, and be joyful about the work that God has done in our lives during the course of the year.  Ultimately, the thing we have to be most joyful about is the Incarnation: without it redemption wouldn’t be possible!

Book Review: ApParent Privilege (by Steve Wright with Chris Graves)

I just finished reading this little hardcover with a funny title a few weeks back and wanted to review it for you.  ApParent Privilege was published in 2008 making it a recent addition to Christian parenting literature, and while there are probably better parenting books on the market, it is worth a read.  At just over 150 (small) pages, it is easy to read, with an average of 12-13 pages per chapter.  Steve Wright has been a student ministry pastor for over 20 years and brings both his professional and personal experience (he’s a father of three kids) to bear in this book.  Here’s the highlights and lowlights of ApParent Privilege.

Highlights:

The first chapter, “A Parent’s Concern: Are They Listening?” highlights the unquestioned influence that parents have on children.  Wright notes that common sense, research and, more importantly, Scripture emphasize the fact that parents are the primary shaping influence on their children’s spiritual development.  Contrary to popular sentiment, our children are listening to us and they want our guidance when it comes to life’s issues, particularly when it comes to matters of faith.  Wright goes on to remind us why our voice matters in our kids’ lives, because our words carry weight.  We need to be speaking into the lives of our children, particularly as they grow up in a society that seems to be increasingly shifting away from traditional, Biblical values.

In one of the strongest sections of the book Wright lays down eight foundations of Christian parenting: 1) Pray with and for our children; 2) Continually give our children back to God; 3) Embrace our God-given role as daily mentors; 4) Look for invitations to join God’s work; 5) Practice unfailing love; 6) Embrace a relational view of parenting; 7) Envision parenting as generational; and 8) Trust that God is growing parents, not just children.  In developing these eight practical principles Wright’s comments struck me as being both challenging and gracious.  One of Wright’s goals is to challenge parents to step up and take their parenting seriously, but his tone is not heavy-handed.  The title, after all, notes that parenting is a privilege!

Where Wright doesn’t pull punches, however, is when he critiques what I would call the “drop-off mentality” that many parents (and churches) take toward children and youth ministries.  Wright is a newer voice in a growing movement of Christian leaders calling for churches to reconsider how student ministry is approached in local congregations, advocating what many would call “family-based” children and youth programs.  Encouraging parents to take seriously their God-given role as daily mentors, Wright says on pages 83-84:

     “We live in a society that has become increasingly specialized in providing services.  You name it and you can pay someone to do it for you.  …Unfortunately, some parents and churches view children and student ministries in the same way—as a spiritual drop-off service best left to the professionals.  These parents think their only responsibility is to take their child to church and put him or her in a spiritual environment and the result will be a morally sound, young adult.  Then they are angry when things do not turn out as expected and demand an explanation from a pastor they barely know or may have never met.  What’s missing from this scenario?

     Nowhere in the Bible does it say that it is the church’s job to be the lone discipler of young people.  Instead, the Bible places the emphasis on parents.  Of course, the church should support and echo what the parents are doing, but it cannot and should not assume the exclusive responsibility to disciple children.” 

This sentiment is expressed in several places in ApParent Privilege, and though some might be put-off by Wright’s criticism, I can speak from almost a decade of experience working in student ministry that this phenomenon is very real and his critique is on target.

Thankfully, Wright doesn’t make the mistake that others make and advocate doing away with student ministries.  In fact, Wright remains a major proponent of the role of the church in family life, spending an entire chapter explaining why children and parents need the church. 

So, what can churches encourage parents to do in order to disciple their kids daily?  Wright offers seven suggestions to make discipleship happen in the home: 1) Family worship; 2) Praying as a family; 3) Serving as a family; 4) Passage trips (a special “rite of passage” trip marking the transition from childhood to adulthood); 5) Journaling (a journal full of life-wisdom passed on to children); 6) Journey days (another celebration involving family and friends marking a child’s transition from childhood to adulthood); and 7) Family dinnertime.  Again, while one may read these seven suggestions and think that Wright is a Puritan trapped in a 21^st Century body, nothing is further from the truth.  This section of the book in particular, rather than advocating rigid definitions of what ought to constitute, say, “family worship,”  is instead a gracious appeal for parents to apply the principles in a way that “works” for your individual family.

Lowlights:

There aren’t a whole lot of lowlights.  ApParent Privilege isn’t poorly written, but it isn’t terribly well-written either.  It’s standard, straight-forward prose.  By the end of the book I felt like Wright was repeating many of the same principles that he had already stated toward the beginning of the book.  While it is already a short book, it could have been shorter for this reason.  Wright also frequently cites statistics from recent studies to lend credibility to his arguments.  While statistics are helpful, in supporting his point Wright almost seems to appeal to statistics first and Scripture second, rather than the other way around.

Final Verdict: 

On a five-star scale, I’d give this book a four.  It isn’t terrible.  It isn’t fantastic.  It’s a little above average.  There are some good, practical principles and ideas and I like Wright’s emphasis on the primary role that parents play in their kids’ spiritual development, but the book doesn’t necessarily break any new ground.  If you don’t have many parenting resources on your shelf, it is worth getting a copy of ApParent Privilege to read, especially for time-constricted parents who can’t work their way through something more comprehensive.  But for those of you who have some good parenting books, you can probably skip it.